Last Night I went to Shiro- a club next to Lap, Samrat Hotel, Chanakyapuri (after hibernating the whole winter- I am excluding my work trips to Mumbai and some boring brunches and suppers). The plan was to go to Blue Frog, a slightly new place in Delhi, but since majority of the people don't like the music there, we decided to Hit Shiro. My friends told me that we have to first go to someone's house for a Pre-drinking session. So we landed at a Girl's house (warm & over-hospitable) who was drunk way before the party had to start. She hugged and kissed me (thankfully on my cheeks) God knows how many times. For a teetotaler like me, Partying literally is fun sometimes because it's good to watch antics of drunk people without judging them even one percent.
One of the guys in the group had been living in Brazil (Indian) and travels to India every year. He has lived in The States and a few more countries he named couple of times (was actually quite proud of his Travel History and everyone pulled his leg enough ... ha ha ....).
I generally asked him, ‘What’s the one thing that you have learnt from the Indian soil and all your annual stays here?’. . .
After thinking for a few seconds, Pat came his answer, ‘SANSKAR’.
Suddenly, another guy from the group (I don't remember his name, but do remember that he writes for 'Maxim') astonishingly questioned SANSKAR! What subject was that in school?
Everyone laughed at the pun intended ignorance, after which I asked the Brazilian-American-Indian Combo guy ;) what is the meaning of 'Sanskars' according to him and he replied, "Indian culture, ethics, values, things that you can only learn in India. My father specifically made me study here till I was 14, after which I moved out."
I was quite amazed with his answer and felt good that our parents indeed focus a lot teaching us some really important human values. We are religious and conditioned to believe that doing something wrong is punishable by God and no matter how tech savvy or modern we have become we never forget to wish everyone on various festivals via Facebook status, Blackberry messenger, Whatsapp, so on and so forth. In fact, tonight is Mahashivratri and my BBM has 80% updates filled with pictures and messages. Indians have numerous reasons to celebrate various festivals throughout the year, with family and friends.
We live with our parents throughout our Lives and just the way they bring us up with utmost love and care, we pay back by caring for them when they grow old, unlike, how it happens in the West. However, this small conversation (and a few previous ones) made me feel that there has now emerged quite a big population of people who have nothing to do with Family or friends, relationships, culture, values basically 'SANSKARS' . . . It’s not a very selfless group of people, although how they are is not something they are responsible for. I will connect this to another example from last night. The host of the party offered a bottle of chocolate wine to everyone and said that it was gifted to her by her Dad. While they were all drinking and making merry I thought would my parents ever gift me a bottle of wine ... Nope, Never, I don't think that would happen even if it’s everybody's last day on earth . . . But at the same time, even though there are certain do’s and don’ts, they also do give us space and have immense faith and trust in whatever we do. I am quite happy that Middle and Upper-Middle class families follow certain thumb rules while brining up their children (I kinda overheard my mum talking to her friends once).
RULE:
When they become teenagers be extremely strict and teach them discipline. This is the time to be the strictest teachers, ensuring not much space should be given to them. They should be taught how to manage their own stuff and be aware that they would have important responsibilities to take over. Let them hate you for all the strictness you showcase, but in the years to come, they would be more sorted individuals. Parents also need to observe their children as to what direction would be best suited for their careers.
Lastly, become friendly with them when they’ve crossed 19, give them the space they need and talk things out with them. Listen to what they have to say and give your honest opinions and they themselves wouldn’t cross the invisible line
WOW … I simply loved this secret recipe of bringing up children. I am proud of my Mom :)
Coming back to my blog, we still can't watch intense romantic scenes (slight love-making or kissing) comfortably with our family; someone eventually changes the channel or starts talking about general stuff. LOL… I feel that's a very good thing, because it shows that we respect our elders and there is a line that we still haven't crossed.
But, at the same time, I meet and interact regularly with people (of my age) who live alone in major metro cities, make their own money and spend it all on going out, shopping and partying. They aren’t very close to their parents, belonging to nuclear families. Either their parents were too rich and busy socializing or they had parents who were too busy working and preferred to put them into boarding schools or leave them to their Nanny's. Now when they have grown up their own parents have to call them up and take prior permission to stay with them even if its for a day or two.
I will stop this Blog right here and let you do some thinking. Here are some questions that you might want to ponder on:-
What is the kind of Future we would prefer in times to come…?
A well-knit social society high on ethics, morals and culture, or an individualistic society who doesn’t care about things other than MTV Roadies, Designer Clothes, Eating out at various joints, Drinking, Smoking, Doing drugs and Partying hard to unwind?
A Society that dwells independently has no understanding of a close knit family system and specific roles of a nurturer and a bread-earner . . . ? A society that doesn’t understand what bonds, ties and commitment means and wants to leave old parents at shelter homes, willing to pay a monthly fee to get rid of their responsibilities.
Are we responsible for our future? How important are SANSKARS for you. . . Just a similar word to Sanskrit- which was a boring and difficult subject at school (that most of us despised) or something that forms the foundation of how we would lead our lives in years to come? ? ?
Let me know what you think ! :)
